Early Child Care Seminars and Consultations
Keeping Conflict Constructive
“It’s Not Easy”
by Ramona Randle / ChildcareTrainers.com
Conflict comes in many forms when you care for young children; respond to it constructively and not destructively. It is important to recognize that conflict is a great place to spark new growth within an organization. Try not to avoid conflicting views, instead allow them to give you a new prospective and turn the bitter taste of conflict into something sweet.
Learning skills that help me respond to situations that make me uncomfortable, displeased and even angry with people or systems have been a great benefit to me. I want to take my learned skills and share them with others in an effort to make peace and harmony in a world where everyone is angry and unpleasant. Moreover in a world where people feel it’s alright to be rude and disrespectful to others.
Aristotle said very long ago and it still rings true, “Anyone can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power. That is not easy,” and I think this is a great place to begin telling how I encountered a situation where I found myself angry and the steps I took to move through what I was feeling over to the other side of angry.
THE SITUATION
Around 9:30 on a Friday evening, I went into a local grocery store to pick up a few items that I needed for a salad, I was planning to prepare for class the following day. The store was full of shoppers and there was only one full-service line open and by the time I approached the line, it was quite full. I decided, in the interest of time, to check out in one of the six self-service check-out lines. After only being in the self-service line for less than a minute, I suddenly found myself splattered with cold milk which had somehow fallen from an area approximately six feet away from where I was standing. My phone and purse were wet, and I was wet from my waist to my shoes on my right side. No one who represented the store seemed to be concerned, I grew angry and now I needed to know what I should be angry about or to whom I should be angry with.
DIAGNOSES
Immediately I told myself to pause and just breathe. As my eye search around looking to help my mind figure out what caused this gallon of cold milk to fall to the floor, nothing I saw made sense. The man standing next to the milk wasn’t wet, and he continued to place his items on the scanner and acted as if he had no clue about the spilled milk less than a foot away from him. I quickly spotted the checker who was assigned to the six stations. He was working on the task of getting the milk off of the floor and securing the wet spot so other patrons would not have an accident. Quickly, he called for a cleanup and then pulled out two yellow cones and placed them around the wet spot; he walked right past me and never said a word. 
ANALYZE
I thought, was he the right person to be angry with? Is this a case where the men in the situation are ignoring me, the woman, and how I might be feeling? Or could it be a situation where someone, the clerk, has not been trained in such a situation? His response to the accident seemed to be rehearsed. He moved like a machine, yet he didn’t inspect to see if anyone was affected by the spill. I asked the young man for a towel to wipe the beads of milk from my clothes, shoes, and phone. He promptly walked over and handed me a roll of paper towels, turned and went back to his post, still never saying a word to me. Flustered by what had just happened, I proceeded with my check-out. In those few moments I decided that this was not about the clerk or the patron who was totally oblivious to the spilled milk, this was a matter of poor management.
After I paid for my items and placed them all in the grocery bag, I collected myself and walked toward the customer service booth, the right time. The right degree, I politely asked to speak with the night manager, the right person, and patiently waited for him. When he arrived, I calmly introduced myself and explained to him the experience I had just gone through while standing in the self-service check-out line. Without raising my voice, I let him know I appreciated the clerk getting the towels for me, but I had to initiate that move, had I not no attention would have been given to me at all. Still calm, I proceeded and gave him my summery of the ordeal; which was crappy customer service, the right purpose. I remained reasonable, and let him know that I wasn’t hurt physically and my clothes could be washed, however I was truly disappointed in the customer service or lack thereof, on display that night. The manager offered his sincerest apology and I accepted it. Another store employee offered to take my bags out for me and I politely declined and left the store. It’s no use crying over spilled milk, but It’s not Easy! 
